Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
