Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
