hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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