He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
