did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
