every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
