some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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