Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
