went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
