C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
