So gin and wine won't be happening again
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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