Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.

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(818): View more from California

Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.

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(408): View more from California

Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this

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(720): View more from Colorado

At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course

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(415): View more from California

What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises

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(315): View more from New York

He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.

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