Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
