just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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