No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
