That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
