My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I smell like Dick and happiness
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