yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
