You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
