You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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