I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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