It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Let's get the cat blown out
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
