I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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