I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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