a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
