just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
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