Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
