i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
