I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
