well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
