The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
