i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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