she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
