And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
