He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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