he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
