So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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