My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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