I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
