yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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