apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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