I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
