You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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