Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she woke up with a sticky ear
no, he came in my armpit
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
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