Betty ford says i'm here all night
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
