Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
