I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
A+ Viking dick
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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