god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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