Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
