I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
