I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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