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WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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