would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
